Sunday, July 7, 2013

Love

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Love.


Love is patient, love is kind. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love suffers long.

A couple of days ago me and my family had a tragedy that made a story. We lost our one and only, joyful dog. I loved her so much to the point where losing her made me so lifeless. She was always with me since I was small, she really brings me the joy and I love her so much that it kills me to know she's not home. The meanest thing you can do to someone is to take away something that is a part of them, something they are attached to, something they love.

I struggled looking for her morning, noon and night. All the anxiety in my head killed my hopes. I drove, I rode my bike, I walked in the rain for 2.5 hours, looking for her. Yes, I was upset at God. Because I knew He's alive, I knew how He had existed in my life and helped me even with the slightest details that I thought a God wouldn't care, I knew how He had been there and I knew miracles existed. But there I was, thinking how could He let this happen to me. How could He let me lose something that's so important to me, that's simply so mean..

Took me days and days to search, I was suffering inside with all the feels, emotions, assumptions and fear if I would never see my dog again. Searching for her was so tiring emotionally and physically. On the third day of missing her, I knelt down and prayed an "angry" prayer. I explained how I feel so disappointed and how I forgot His past deliverance, how He really cared for me even for the slightest detail. All that's in my mind was how could He let this happen to me. I just want Him to prove me wrong. I want Him to show me that He cares for my feelings just as He used to. That same day, just a few hours later, something happened. It was a miracle, because coincidences don't happen like they are meant to happen.

The tragedy ended when a lady cleaning the neighborhood rushing to my house a few hours after I delivered my mad prayer. It was a perfect timing. How she found my home and knew that I am the girl missing my dog really made no sense and left a testimony to the person helping her find me (met the person today as I was taking my dog a walk, told me she was amazed by His work). The cleaning lady found my dog in a deep sewer. I was afraid of insects, cockroaches and whatsoever creep me to the core. But I looked into my dog's eyes and her bark full of joy and crying out for help gave me no choice but to go in the sewer and carry her out.

The whole chronological order of what I experienced taught me about true love..

Love is when He had to not stop searching me as I go further. Love is when He had to suffer wanting me home while I have no freakin' idea of what I am doing. Love is when He had to sacrifice by doing something that creeps Him out to the core just so I won't die and be back home.

Imagining it this way...

Kyna can be mad and disappointed at me for thinking that I left her alone until she fell in the sewer, while she actually doesn't know that I am looking & approaching her. Bad things could happen to her as she was astray, and she can just blame me for not saving her and think that I do not care (while actually she is going further out of my reach by choice). 
And if Kyna was mad at me horribly, I still would love her because I know she doesn't understand. No matter how mad she is at me, I won't stop giving her favorite food, I won't stop protecting her, I won't stop giving her the best.

and now i understand, that's what Love is.
Kyna , the day she went home :)



2 comments:

<3

That's a really nice picture of Kyna btw..

Author

Awwww thankkss! <33

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