Monday, March 3, 2014

Something New. Something Calling Me.

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"Sometime I try to cry and laugh like other people, just to see if it feels like anything" - Blaine Harden, Escape From Camp 14, Quoted from the book Fields of Grace.-


My previous posts were about Psychology in general (which I still do fall in love with it every single day ever since I started taking my classes). But through the general, I have found something more specific… 
 something I love, desire and passionate about… you know something that tickles you when you think about it… because you just love the thought of it, the thought of sharing it whilst your eyes are opened that what you love is needed to be shared. This is why I have decided to specify the theme of the blog I am running.


I’m dedicating this blog, my knowledge and thoughts for the ladies. Inner beauty is my  current interest, and I would love to share as I learn because REALLY SAD things are happening out there (near and far), and it will be too selfish of me to shut myself from what’s happening, to learn and keep them all to myself because I am too shy to open up my thoughts, too selfish to think of what judgments are thrown at my piece of writing. WELL, I am not like Princess-Know-It-All or Princess-Prettiest, but yeah… I will share of what I can do to help as I learn… I dream of helping much but what I can do for now is by writing. 


So here’s to the ladies who diets too much, who shops too much, who cries too much, who gets mad too much, who worries too much, for anything you do that is too much, including thinking too much XD.


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Monday, February 17, 2014

Hello 2014 :)

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I guess the last time I updated my blog was last year... I am very happy for those important people in my life that had been telling me to keep updating my blog, and I guess I am doing this for those who care and because their opinions matter so much for me <3

Well as a starter (after my long break), I would love to share this link on personality test. Trust me this one is nothing cheesy. It's accurate and specific (ps: based on Cattel's theory on traits). Try filling it as honest as possible and with patience, but it's worth the time :D. Mine was surprising. :)

http://similarminds.com/cattell-16-factor.html


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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

One "Invisible" Reason Why Ladies Are Cougars and Men Date Older Women

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Nowadays, it's pretty common to find couples with big age difference..."Cougars" do have their own subjective & logical reasons in their consciousness. They might find younger men more attractive because of how fun they can be, how they don't have to compete in career or maturity, and many other personal reasons. It goes the same for men who look for women way older than them. There could be a lot of other reasons that could be the "go for it factors". But here's ONE that I'd like to talk about and it is built through the type of parenting they experienced from their parents... meaning this could be one of  the reasons from the subconsciousness which supports their behavior.

1. Cougars (Women-men)
www.google.com
Women who are attracted to younger men maybe because of the past experience on how the father treated her. An over dominant father may leave a mark in her subconscious, making her thirsty of freedom (may also be freedom of choice and so on depending on personal experience). It could also be on how she saw her father treated her mom, the bitterness stays inside (conscious or unconsciously). The basic human goal is to move out from inferiority and achieve superiority which then affects on her future relationships. Dating a younger men may quench her feeling of superiority that she had been missing in the past (aside from the other rational reasons she can come up with).

Well what about dating a way older man? This also kinda works the same way. If dating a younger man is because the need of feeling superior, then dating an older man is the need of a leader, protector, a decision maker, a responsible man, and so on. Looking back at the past experience, may lead to finding the parenting type of the father. May also be because of feeling neglected or being raised by a single parent (most likely be by the mother or grandmother)

2. Men-women
Men who are attracted to wayyy younger women (well this is also pretty common) but might also be because of an over dominant mother. Definitely needs the feeling of superiority and thus he can find from dating a young lady. Vice versa, men who dates an older women may be because the lack of experiencing his standard of a good mother. Therefore dating an older woman may give him the comfort and feeling loved, cared and so on.

We can never judge or generalize this to everyone. Everybody do have their own stories and experiences and there could be many other personal reasons why dating with a big gap of age is comfortable.. it is very subjective and can actually bring positive effects and fulfilling needs. This post also explains why good parenting is actually a big deal and has a strong effect in relationships. 


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Sunday, July 28, 2013

Psychololgy: Do you agree with face reading?

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I feel really bad for not posting anything for quite some time. I am glad though I still have readers reading everyday. It's been really tough for me since I am on my first week of uni... I am hyped about my psychology classes but I am still adapting with everything else, the friends, the place, the responsibilities with everything new to me. Can't help to feel alone either but things will get better soon. Besides, there's this quote:

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to end, but learning to dance in the rain"

"If you don't like the situation you're in, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it"

So whether I like it or not, my only option for things to change is to like it XD

Back to psychology and whats new to me..

Everybody knows about astronomy (horoscopes), this Chinese thing called Feng Shui (for luck & prosperity), and perhaps the face reading including the hand palm reading too! Well either one of these terms would be familiar to people. But I'm going to write a post about the face reading + hand-palm reading and what psychology has to say about it (since it is more about peoples' behavior).

Okay, the Bible obviously disagrees with those since they do not put God as the Creator who has ultimate power and control.

Psychologically...


Face reading + hand palm reading may seem to be real if you believe in it. In face reading, you may think you identify someone's personality through their face structure, how their eyes, nose, mouth, ears, jaw, lips, forehead, etc looks like. You may even be familiar with Sheldon's theory about how body shapes determine someone's personality ...hey there's no scientific explanation and as time goes on, the theory had been proved not-so-valid. Everybody is created in a special way, there is no one with the same personality, not even twins are perfectly the same. Psychology calls this as the Barnum Effect. It happens when we put peoples' personality in certain categories through a general & abstract judgment (something we cannot explain scientifically). We cannot identify someone's personality in general and an abstract way because everyone is special and concrete with specific personalities. And to see it that way, it sounds pretty judgmental, rude and biased. It would be pretty offensive for the thin people to be stereotyped as not as friendly as the fatter ones while actually some of them may be really friendly and humorous. In another case your forehead seems to show that you are illogical and a not rich person, it is pretty hurtful and isn't true because logic and being rich isn't determined by the shape of your forehead. It doesn't really make sense scientifically because there is no explanation.
We are free to choose what we believe in, everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial :)

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Monday, July 22, 2013

Personalities Came From Liquid?

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Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic. I have heard about these types of personality all my life (not literally) but I'm pretty sure it is commonly known. I do have a global picture of each personality but I DID NOT know that all these are actually from the liquid in our body.

It is known that from the blood we can identify Sanguine, the Yellow Bile determines whether someone is a Choleric, the Dark Bile is for Melancholic and the Phlegm determines how someone is a Phlegmatic...
But for a 100% assurance and validity, it is still discussed with pros and cons.

Can a person change to different personalities?


Well a person can have more than one personality that is dominant. Just like me I am a Sanguine and a Phlegmatic. Everyone is born with different personalities and yes you can control but you can't run from the fact that it will be dominant. It takes time and determination to really completely change. In some conditions, we may have another personality taking control, but it would only be temporary due to some external factors. Just like a Sanguine may suddenly be a Melancholic after watching a "heart-felt" movie but it is not for long, sooner or later the Sanguine side will come back. Well, each personality may have its "not so good" side or there will be things you want to change for the better, and that can happen because change is always a choice and there is always a control. A Melancholic can't just give up on trying to make more friends although the style would be different than a Sanguine, a Phlegmatic can't just neglect responsibilities and say I can't because I'm not a Choleric. Dominance of personality exists but control is always available. 




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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Memories

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Memories. Writing the first word of my post gave me so many flashes. Everybody has their own memories that they can't erase in just a blink of an eye or a lifetime, even if the people in it go by choice or by time.

Significant events are easier to remember...

Same place, different time, different people

Situation 1:

A rushing hour, I had to go in the car quickly. As I opened the door and put my right foot in the car, the person driving didn't realize I still had my other foot on the ground. It was a rush therefore the car was in an instant high speed (in a speed that was really fast for me). Luckily I responded quickly although I was very shocked.

Situation 2:

I can still remember where I'm facing and how I'm nervous and shy to give him that tiny paperbag as his Christmas gift. Inside there was something I knew he liked. All the thoughts jumbled up in my head whether to give it now or maybe next time. Again, we didn't have much time but I could still remember all the nerve-wrecking  feeling in me..I was happy & sad. So I took the guts to just give it to him in that place. I can still picture his reaction and how he glanced at me which actually made me feel a rush of blood in my face. He didn't expect what was coming and in return he handed me a really nice thing he had prepared. We only met for a while, it was raining pretty hard outside and he had to take me home.


So...

Both situations happened at the same exact place, different timing and with different people. The first situation happened around last month while the second happened almost a year ago. There is one common thing, both happened in a short period of time although situation 1 was shorter because I only remembered the "pinnacle" of the moment with a "global" view. Didn't even remember what happened before and after that experience. But I totally remember how I felt. From how I described these situations you can tell which one is a positive memory and which one is unpleasant.

Memories are actually made by how the emotions are aroused, not by personal significance. I can totally remember the second situation better because I was more into my emotions rather than the first. I didn't have a hard time describing, all the words just came in my mind (believe me I had to erase a lot of details because it was too long). Another thing is, pleasant emotions are way attached to the memory than the bad ones. That is why we would have more contextual details from the positive events that we have. From the first situation (which is a bad experience), I can only remember the big picture or the bottom line of the incident. I didn't remember how the others responded, how exactly fast did the car go, or how did my surroundings looked like. All I remember that it was frightening and next time I should learn from it. A good memory is actually composed by how strong the emotions were brought, not how important the details were! This is also why lyrics are easily remembered than the lessons in school, because lyrics catches the emotions.

Try thinking of a pleasant memory and an unpleasant one, which one is more detailed?

How did I come up with "This reminds me of ..." 

It's not about the place, the person, the things around or lots of other reasons we might think is what recalls a certain memory. The secret is in the mood you feel that brings you back the memory. If the mood "catches" the mood you once felt... there goes your memory popping up, so don't be surprised. Hmm let's say you saw this familiar object, it's actually not because of the appearance of the object that makes you recognize it but how an object in the past affected your feeling towards it. You can always find objects but doesn't seem to recognize because that object never had anything to do with your sense of feeling or mood. 




www.quotesonimages.com

 based on http://www.memory-key.com/memory/emotion


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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Couldn't help share this post :') :A Grateful Life Lived: Wedding Day: I Wear the White of His Grace

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A very frank piece. I could feel the emotions and humility :')

A Grateful Life Lived: Wedding Day: I Wear the White of His Grace:      Today was definitely a big day.  To be honest, I wasn't quite sure how it was going to go, or rather: how I would do.  I've kno...
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